“Doctor, I am gay and want to change it somehow” is a common question that many mental health professionals who work with the LGBTQIA+ community could have encountered. At least once during the adolescence period, people who have same-sex attraction (exclusive-gay, lesbian or any other sexual orientation with elements of same-sex attraction, like bisexuality), might have experienced shame and guilt associated with homosexuality. This shame or guilt is not inborn in the human mind but planted by a society that worships hypermasculinity, cis-dominance and heteronormativity.

Whereas individuals from heterosexual orientation usually don’t feel the need to change or hide their sexual orientation. Why in some incidents do people who have homosexual orientation even express hateredness and prejudices towards other people who are from the same minority community?- the answer to all these questions leads to the concept of internalised homo-negativity (previously known as internalised homophobia). Looking through the history of gay liberation movements worldwide, there are noticeable influences of highly celebrated gay conversion therapists or anti-gay activists, who later came out to the public as gay and apologised for the cruelty they had done towards gay communities. It’s an interesting observation that they all fought against themselves without knowing the hidden elements of internalised homo-negativity. Living with internalised homonegativity is similar to living with a lot of hatred towards one’s self for just existing. It generates distress, constant sadness and sometimes the urge to prove that they are not homosexual/gay and they don’t support same-sex relationships. Many times, it’s likely that they engage in anti-gay movements and talk a lot against homosexuality. Understanding this from a psychoanalytic perspective, the individual is trying to defend the reality of being gay by talking against homosexuality. It is to avoid the pain that they might have to face while going through the process of acceptance. This action is similar to the defense mechanism of reaction formation.

Addressing the internalised homonegativity is the initial task for resolving the distress and shame associated with their homosexual orientation. While going through the process of acceptance, if the guilt for having shame for one’s existence is not reattributed to the cis-dominated heteronormative society, they may remain incomplete and unsatisfied with the unconventionality in the sexual aspect of their self. It is very essential to remember that having internalised homonegativity is natural and happens due to the influence of heteronormative and cis-dominated society, Acceptancing and resolving internalised homonegativity facilitates the process of better psycho-social well-being of the individual.

Intersectionality-oriented Queer Affirmative Psychotherapy helps individuals to overcome these obstacles in their journey of self-acceptance.

– Alwin Paul